Thursday, April 2, 2009

- into the ocean, end it all. -

CURRICULUM GUIDE CURRICULUM GUIDE!!! AHH >< I haven't finished it.

Never mind. I'll still make this post required. I have enough emotions running through me now as I do this post. I have just finished the art (non-film) section of the guide. I'm confused.

Before I dwell about the ocean of curriculum guide, maybe I'd like to comment on the introductory history lesson and the video sessions of the film "The Last Emperor".

My thoughts? Hmm. History lesson was more of like summarising part of the curriculum guide into a concept map and a timeline for a complete dumb person like me who hasn't got any general knowledge (this is real, I barely read beyond my syllabus ._.). At least know I've got a general idea of the history of empires in western countries and at least a thought and idea of what the definition of an empire is. I think I would LOVE <3 to have more of these kind of lessons, because it's really tiring for that tiny brain of mine to absorb anything that is in the curriculum guide.

"The Last Emperor". Showing the film is most probably the only area where I've got the most impression off. I seem to remember the film better, and of course the background behind it, given that the film is in understandable language and pictorial, which means that I don't have to put my lousy imagination to the test. I was thinking, arts doesn't really seem to play a large role in our guide, but then again it's the most "far away" from us, so will the competition place a tinee bit more emphasis on this part? Hmm, strategies.

"The Last Emperor" has given me an idea of what Chinese history was like. With emperor Pu Yi, the poor man who is trapped in the dimension of politics and war. And further down when another party takes over, captures him and then he is cut away from the emperor way of life. Maybe apart from just watching the film we could go through the supposed "intepretations" of the film that we're supposed to make. You know, sometimes I just don't get it.

Okay, I know I'm the one in the wrong here. I mean like I barely knew anything about this topic when I entered WSC and I feel like I'm dumb and something like that. I don't get much of the curriculum guide.

The curriculum guide is quite interesting at times. I mean I'm finding out things that I never knew existed in the world like the Versailles (is this how you spell it?) and how everything in this world from art to science to modern day architecture can actually be linked together. But the content, I must say, is sort of killing me. It's very difficult for me to digest. I read through it one day, and the next day I relook at the guide, I will ask myself "Have I read this already?" I think only about 50% or less of the guide is actually leaving impressions in me. So, YES, it is rather tedious and difficult for me.

Yet, I think I have found a way to help me in understanding, but it's rather time consuming. That is to pick out and highlight important words (to me, at least) as I go along reading the guide. Apart from leaving markings on where I last left my guide, it would help me to remember at a glance what one page is talking about, and then from there dig into the dying cells of my memory for the evidence and all that behind the key points.

Of course, the sight of the thick and wordy guide turns me off. I mean like I open the guide, and all I see is words. And furthermore, the thought of reading it and remembering the facts (or at least have an impression of it) is demoralising and horrifying.

Perhaps I would like to state abit more about myself here. I am weak in general knowledge, something that I admit myself. I had a barely vague idea that Adolf Hitler was one person when I was like in P6 (I thought Adolf and Hitler were different people). Talk to me now more about WW I, all I can say it was Germany or Europe against the Jews or something like that. Even as I'm typing this down I barely know if the above is actually correct. (are they the same people?).

More about me. I am a procrastinator. As with most RI boys. Apart from that I've been in training for nationals until last week (only to be told I would be reserved =.=) and I had about one week to catch up with my ongoing projects and assignments before I picked up my guide again. Yea, I wonder how Herman is coping. I know people like Chng Jin and J Lee would have probably memorised the whole guide by now, but I'm a very slow reader (I read about a page two to three times before I can understand properly and move on).

I feel like I'm very defensive and I admit I am. I feel like sort of "dumb" right now cos the people around me seem so smart.

On how anyone can help, or what more do I need, I think it's more of guidance and help from peers and teachers that will definitely help me, and also much simpler and more comprehendable content. I mean like in this year's literature text To Kill A Mockingbird, I barely understood much of the book except for the shallowest ideas but after like weeks of discussion and chapter guides with teachers and friends in class, I am sort of getting a rather good grip onto the book. At least I think I've caught up with the class, or even exceeded some, although I doubt the latter.

With guidance, maybe I thought I'd give a few thoughts of mine. I'm a verbal person, I don't like a question being stuck in my head when the teacher is in the classroom and I tend to voice out whatever that comes to mind to clarify. Weakness or advantange? I don't know. This actually means I may interrupt with shallow-looking questions quite a bit, but this little little questions actually accumalate to form better impressions in my knowledge.

I think I've digressed a bit away from the main part of this post, but I thought it would be good if I shared my emotions within me after trying to read and understand the Art (non-film) part of the guide.

Hmm. I'll stop here cos I needa prepare myself for tomorrow's Art WSC guide-lesson.
Thanks for reading.

(:

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into the ocean, end it all
into the ocean, end it all
I want to swim away but don't know how...
[blue october - into the ocean]

Benjamin took a walk down memory lane at 9:26 PM

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